Of Faith and Strength

Bismilahirrahmanirrahim,

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum wbt and hello everyone!

It is the second week of the year 2021, and it is also my first blog post for the brand new year.

Many things had happened in the tragic year of 2020, which involved the COVID-19 Pandemic, the MCOs, various versions of MCOs that I had lost count, and other personal matters that each and every one of us had been going through.

But yes, we made it! We emerged from the year 2020 with lots of tears shed, and only Allah knows how much we had suffered. Trust me, you are not alone in your suffering. I suffered too, my friends suffered, every living humans on this Earth suffered!

Look at our battle scars. There they are; all those emotional and mental wounds that had been inflicted upon us. They hurt at first, those fresh cuts. But once they healed, you will proudly brandish them into the year 2021, knowing that you are now, a different, and much better person than you were the year before. 2021 might be as bad as 2020, it might be worse, even. But have faith that you are now wiser, more equipped to walk through whatever life will throw towards you.

All that even better, when you have Allah with you, in every step you take.

Personally, the year 2020 had been very challenging to me. I started the year having a very bad cough, and falling sick every week ever since I returned from Umrah in December 2019. It made me value my good health more, for I now know how it feels to suffer from lack of sleep due to you coughing once in every few seconds. It made me have empathy to the patients who complained that they could not finish their antibiotics course because they couldn’t tolerate the gastrointestinal side effects. The answer to it is by taking probiotics drinks.  It works to minimize the GI side effects, at least for me. 😉

Anyway, there was the headache and anxiety of preparing for the wedding, and I finally got married in March 2020. Married life is not easy, man *chuckles*. It is very challenging and I am sure many married couples agree to this statement. You thought you had it all prepared and figured out and boy, you were absolutely wrong. HAHA.

Amidst all the challenges that I had been facing in 2020, the biggest, literally life-changing challenge of 2020 goes to….

“The moment I found out my mother had been diagnosed with Cancer”.

Which happened just 2 weeks after my wedding.

Of course, to many of us, Cancer is like the Death Sentence. You have heard of many people dying because of cancer. Moreover, my mom’s cancer is at its last stage, as the cancer cells had metastasized to her brain, which explained why she had been walking unsteadily all this while.

To tell the truth, the day when I found that out, I was so upset, I was overwhelmed, I did not know what to do. I felt like I could lose my mind. I felt like the feeling of happiness could never permeate me ever again. I did not think I could ever know how to smile, or laugh again.

I couldn’t sleep. I cried and cried and cried. I felt like I could go crazy, until I pleaded to Allah.

“Ya Allah, please give me strength,” and I repeated it again and again and again until I finally fell asleep, tired from all the mental and emotional anguish.

Perhaps it was a nudge from Allah that had me picked up a book titled “Call Upon Him” by Ustaz Mizi Wahid. I read it, armed with desperation, savouring it with the intention of picking up my faith, and slowly realizing that Allah had given me strength to carry on. I really recommend this book to everyone. Seriously, go and get this book now. You need it more if you’re facing your own trials and tribulations right now.

One thing I realized about myself, is that I am so capable of hiding my pain through my expressions and laughter. I cried in my room after each phone call with my mother, dried up my tears and went out to join my housemates as though nothing happened. I did not tell any of my friends about this, probably because I do not want their pity.

I realized that when I was pretending to be strong, I was in fact, strong. And that strength, is the answer to my prayers that I made that night when I cried myself to sleep. It was the strength given to me by Allah.  

I also gained strength from joining the various webinars conducted by Ayesha Syahira and the Al-Maghrib institutes during the MCO. On recommendation by my friend L, I also decided to invest on my akhirah by registering for the AA Plus, which is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I read more books and listened to more lectures about faith.

I woke up at 4 am every morning to just cry and pray to Allah, even when I was on my menses. The key was to have immense faith that Allah will save my mother. He WILL save my mother, He WILL!

6 months later, Alhamdulillah, my mother had successfully completed her 6 cycles of chemo, and several cycles of radiotherapy. She had also undergone a mastectomy. She is now taking an anti-cancer medication, and I noticed that she had gotten more physically active and having a positive mindset too. Alhamdulillah.

Please pray that she will be completely cured of cancer. Aameen.

2020 is not 100% full of difficulties, and those difficulties are not 100% bad as well. If you could choose to ponder and reflect upon them, those seemingly difficult moment eventually moulded you to become a better person, a better Muslim. You will realize that nothing is this world belongs to you, and life in this world is just temporary. Everything is temporary, even your pain.

You will realize that all source of Happiness comes from Allah. When He takes something from you, He will give MORE things to you.

I am not an extremely religious person, but I realized that 2020 had shaped me to become someone who has more faith towards Allah, and faith-Iman is a very important aspect of Islam. Which made me realized that the more faith I have towards Allah, the more strength I had been given by Him!

The Faith that Allah is always there with you.  You gain Strength by knowing that you are not alone.

The Faith that Allah is always listening to your prayers. You gain Strength knowing that your pleas were heard and taken note of.

When you felt like you had reached a dead end, began calling upon Him. Call upon him out of desperation, crying and sobbing as much as you can, call upon His Names, and just tell Him you desperately need His Help.

Trust me, dear readers, He will come to your aid.

“…Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!” (Al-Baqarah 2:214)

With that, let us together brace the challenging yet WONDERFUL year of 2021, and may our faith towards Him increase each year until the year we finally left this world, being in the highest state of Iman that we could ever achieve in this life. Aameen.

As for me, I personally want to make 2021 as a the year of growth- wellness, financial, faith, you name it, of going out of my comfort zone, and to inspire others, including myself. So, this very action of me posting this in public for everyone to read is one of my attempts of ‘growing’, figuratively speaking of course. 🤭. I’ve always loved writing and I want the stuff that I wrote to be of benefits to those who are reading them, insya Allah.

With that, thanks for reading and may Allah grant you help and bless each one of you in your endeavours.

May Peace be Upon You! 😊

2 thoughts on “Of Faith and Strength

  1. When you are pretending to be strong, you are in fact, strong.

    Never thought of it that way before. Thanks, Sarah for sharing your thought. May Allah increase you (barakah) in your journey of growth and abundance , this year onwards.

    Saya doakan Allah beri kekuatan dan semangat positif, energy dan sinar bahagia dalam hidup ibu awak, Sarah. And in yours, as well.

    Your friend,
    L

    1. Hi L!!!!
      It had been a pleasure knowing you, alhamdulillah. 😊 Thanks for the AA Plus recommendation. 😘

      Aameen, aameen ya Rabbal Alameen. Thanks for the doa L. I will pray the same doa for you too. For you and your little family. 😊

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